You may know the following situation: You face a problem and try to find the solution by yourself. You waste a lot of time and if you´re lucky, you even find the solution.
A lot of energy is spent with annoying. This paralyses the willingness to cooperate, the creativity and, above all, the effectiveness. Worse are the nights you spend with annoying about non-comprehensible behaviours. And that influences your health and not infrequently, stresses your own partnership.


When asking support from colleagues in professional questions, you may state a “weakness”. So you try to solve it by yourself. However, this approach “learning by doing” has an advantage, too. The flipside is that you might have saved a lot of time by asking someone.
But, it is much more difficult when it comes to personal problems. If you have problems with your team, you may avoid addressing it to someone of your peers. Much too fast it can be “heard” by your boss or the HR-department, and you possibly have the reputation of not having your team “under control” and this can happen much faster than you would like. Reversing this image can take years, if ever. A trial and error approach in the case of personal problems could have fatal consequences. So you better let it be.


Asking for advice, asking for help is still not established in our culture. It is not easy to admit that you don’t know something or you are not able to handle it. In our performance society, this can be seen as a weakness. And who wants to be considered as weak? During your own socialisation process you may have learned to demonstrate perseverance, “Bite through”, not to show weakness. These are values and attitudes that accompany us lifelong. The “ask questions mentality” can bring benefits that are extremely valuable: The respondent has a good feeling since he could help. Teambuilding is encouraged. The feeling of togetherness is strengthened. But - not in every environment.


In principle, it is certainly more effective to seek a possibly external advice, than wasting time or even make mistakes. And: Having created a proper working solution is good, makes self-assured and ultimately even more successful.

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